


Doubt

by Annie17851



Series: Slices of Destiel [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie17851/pseuds/Annie17851
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4x16<br/>On The Head of a Pin</p>
<p>In the aftermath of the Alastair debacle, Anna has enlightened Castiel a bit on these strange feelings in his Grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Moving along toward the future Destiel; episode 4x16- On The Head of a Pin

DOUBT

 

So, this is doubt. Castiel thinks doubt might get him killed one day. This roiling strangeness inside his Grace is dangerous, and there’s something else, too. Something that grew and throbbed painfully inside him as he listened to the screams coming from behind the door – from the demon locked inside the trap. The trap Castiel had fashioned himself, double- and triple-checked because he wouldn't ask Dean to go in that room if there was even a modicum of danger to the hunter. Castiel knew that if Dean agreed to do as they asked, it would tear at his insides, there was no way the angel would risk actual physical harm to Dean. Castiel almost felt the dark stirring in his Grace, the creeping blackness the demon's screams must be nurturing in Dean's soul. 

Castiel had known that what Dean was doing in there was making his soul ache, shattering him into a million pieces. Later, sitting next to Dean’s hospital bed, still shocked and dismayed at the way Uriel had twisted everything around, Castiel had to admit to Dean that what Alastair said was true. The Righteous Man had been destined to break the first seal. But the Righteous Man could stop the apocalypse, too. Despite Dean’s tearful lack of confidence- “I can’t do it, Cas,” – there is no other choice. Heaven has laid out the course and Castiel has to follow it.

Maybe. 

Anna recommended disobedience. She had killed Uriel. But she had saved Castiel. Castiel is not sure how he – feels – about that. Or if he feels anything about it at all. 

Castiel knows what Uriel did was wrong. Knows that what Dean did for them today twisted and stabbed at his soul. Just before he agreed to interrogate Alastair, Dean had to turn away, couldn't even look at Castiel when he all but pleaded for them to abandon the plan. Castiel had felt a kind of-stuttering – inside his vessel then. His arms had almost tried to reach out and touch Dean. His wings had almost unfurled to carry him back to Sam. But Uriel was in charge, never let anyone forget it, and Castiel could not contravene his commands. Couldn't fathom outright disobedience. Until Anna. Until Uriel tried to kill him.

Castiel had raised Dean Winchester’s soul from Hell, had purged the darkness from it, restored it with his own Grace. Dean’s soul was Castiel’s to cherish and protect. 

What causes this possessiveness in his Grace? Castiel asks himself as he sits quietly at Dean’s beside. Is it doubt? Or something else?


End file.
